16th September 2017

1 – Isla - 597

2 – Richard Steptoe 609

3 – Ben 651

4 – Chris 658.2

5 – Richard Jones 658.4

6 – Pete Sanders John Gulson 684

7 – James 691

8 – Kelvin -Nick Stroud 727

9 – Mark Pilgrim 810


Well paint dries really well, even if you don't watch it.

Hair grows on someone else's head and if you watch REALLY closely you can see it grow.

Rumour has it that if you are in the Mid West of the USA, aka Homeland of the Donaldvote, on good days you can HEAR the corn grow as high as an elephant's eye.

Equally, as a spectator said to your correspondent after the race, the only thing being tested was our patience.


Simon and Karen organised our race today and ran it ( too short by one lap by the way, but it would be churlish to even mention it (be thankful Rich, be thankful). Thanks to them, it was bad enough trying to get round without having to WATCH it.


Course setting was appropriate, it was set with mark1 to windward. During the five minute start sequence it was a leeward mark. 1 minute before the start it was a windward mark. According to Kelvin, travelling through the start line on starboard in the opposite direction to every other boat, someone on a K1 was sailing backwards into the fleet whilst on port tack. Kelvin was the only person who believes this to be true and no protest was made about it. There was plenty of noise about Kelvin and the big red aircraft carrier…. But no protest.

Ben, who has heard all of this before, sailed around every other boat ( well to be accurate drifted more rapidly) and headed off to the first mark. Pete and John thought it would make a change to be near the front of the race so they went with him. Rich Steptoe, still complaining about personal handicap races, drifting starts, slow races and the hour which stretched in front of him, life… work… life/work balance.. the inability to take ham sandwiches into festivals…. Well you get the picture was sailing to meet them at the first mark. On getting to it, it was now a leeward mark and very busy. Isla kept a respectable distance away from Rich now, and during the rest of the race quietly hugging the personal handicap difference between her and Rich and trying to stay just out of earshot. Very skilled at that she was.

Mike and Julie had joined us for the sport… they stayed, saw, considered and gave it up. Rich was now threatening to give it up. Chris did his best to help Rich give it up. Isla wondered why he hadn't given it up. James Noott in the Mirror kept stopping and lost interest in starting again. Richard Jones kept up a lively conversation with Richard Jones while he sailed successfully around the course. Mark Pilgrim contemplated what togetherness really meant, decided to give it another go and communed with his tiller, which left his tiller extension to consider what life might be like if it had divorced itself from the tiller (Mark might benefit from his contemplations providing grist for the mill of weekly sermons, the extension wants to meet with guidance counsellors and give it one final try with the tiller {untiller the next time}). There was so much going on in that Comet that Mark had to let his feet hang over the side of the boat to make room for the contemplations.


Having drifted this far at the same pace as the race we should finally give the result. Please remember that most people were sailing on personal handicaps except the Commodore who dragged up a privilege which says, quite clear for those with a dedicated Google search facility, that although a Commodore may spend time calculating personal handicaps for those in the club if it should mean the Commodore has a loss of 106 handicap points then they have the right to sail a completely different boat and sail that boat at scratch ( PY) should it suit their long term ambitions. If you should not have a dedicated search engine try the following link ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheat_(game)).


Thanks again Simon and Karen and Alan for calculating scores

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